I see Katniss crawl from the tent into the open. She turns her attention to me and I focus on my knots, pretending that I haven't noticed her. I can see your face flash with several different emotions. I can tell she's contemplating whether or not to speak to me and I already know she's going to decide on the latter. We sit in silence. Her eyes traveling anywhere but me and my eyes stealing glances of her face light by the moonlight. She looks absolutely stunning. I regret that thought as soon as it enters my head because the throbbing points in my neck begin to burn.
What did you say?
'I called her stunning.'
That dirty mutt is anything, but stunning.
'That's your opinion.'
My opinion is your opinion, Peeta.
I slowly found the tingling spreading through my body and the hatred for Katniss grow along with it. I grip tightly on my knot and squeeze my eyes shut. Trying to will away the hate, but it only makes the tingling increase.
Don't fight it Peeta.
'Y- Yes'
Good. Now Peeta why don't why try and talk to our lovely Mutt.
I glance up at Katniss and find my body sneering instead of smiling, "These last couple of years must have been exhausting for you. Trying to decide whether to kill me or not. Back and forth. Back and forth."
I can see in her face flash angry for a moment, but she takes a breath and looks at me with gentle eyes.
"I never wanted to kill you." I raise an eyebrow and she looks at the dirt. "Except when I thought you were helping the Careers kill me.." She locks eyes with me again and I see an emotion I have only seen once before, on the beach during the my second games. What is it? Love? "After that, I always thought of you as... an ally."
I can feel the tingle begin as soon as she breaks eye contact with me and I know I have to say something before I am completely consumed.
"Ally..." I can feel the tingling spread as my brain registers the word, '" Friend. Lover. Victor. Enemy. Fiancee. Target. Mutt. Neighbor. Hunter. Tribute. Ally. I'll add it to the list of words I use to figure you out." The tingling sensation is fading and Katniss looks beautiful in my eyes once again. "The problem is, I can't tell what's anymore, and what's made up."
I see a stirring in the sleeping group and Finnick's voice rises up. "Then you should ask, Peeta. That's what Annie does."
"Ask who?" I can heart the tenseness and worry in my voice. "who can I trust?"
'More stirring and this time Jackson's voice fills my ears. "Well, us for starters. We're on your squad."
'You're my guards."
"That, too, but you saved a lot of lives in Thirteen. It's not the kind of thing we forget."
Everyone goes silent and I can feel the tingling return. I let out a sigh and know that the tingling can not be stop by silence. A small memory floats into my brain and I can't help the nagging in my head to ask Katniss.
I turn towards Katniss. "Your favorite color... it's green?"
She gives a soft smile. "That's right." She glances back at her hands, trying to think of something to say. "And yours is orange."
I raise an eyebrow. "Orange"
"Not bright orange." She pauses as if trying to conjure up the color in her head. "But soft. Like the sunset. At least, that's what you told me once.'"
"Oh." I close my eyes and a sunset glows in my head. The sun setting over the forest in Twelve. The gentle yellows, pinks, and.... oranges. The tingling stops all together when the sunset pops in my head. For the first time, there is no throbbing points in my neck, no remembrance of the torture I endured at the Capitol, just the orange sunset that rolls over my memories.
"Thank you."
I open my eyes slightly to see Katniss on the verge of tears. "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces."
She quickly dives back into the tent before the tears spill over the brim of her eyes.
I smile and close my eyes. I whisper to myself, hoping that no one would hear.
"I love you."
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